Your presence hovers
behind a turn in the road
or the shake of a shopping bag
bursts through the sun
at a calming circle
glints off the roof of
some foreign car
I want to contact you
through some pretence
come face to face again
and banish this ghost, this
insistent whisper
from my daily journey
want you to tell me
that I am ridiculous,
you don’t think of me at all
never
that the last time
was when you struggled
to keep your eyes off
my breasts and lips as I hid
behind sunglasses
making safe talk
in the presence of children
and spouses
at a noisy pavement café
When I see you I want you
to be rude and uninteresting,
balding and unkempt
not wear a hint of the hurt I detected
the time before
and I want you to close
your heart and mind
to all impossibilities. Sever
this connection that grows in spite
of joint resistance
I want to show
how much I love my husband
and our children (mine, yours,
and I really like your wife)
I want you
to confirm my small suspicion
that you are just another foolish
philandering idiot
your roving eye grazing my sight
since alighting on other breasts
and lips
I need you
to do all that
to disappear
leave the traffic calming circles
alone
stop reflecting off the roof of foreign cars
release the shake of a shopping bag from its
wistful shift
so that at last
this longing
this stupid sigh
can escape my lips.
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